When I was 14 years old, my friend Sarah told me that you’re not fat if you can look straight down and see your ankles. I looked down and all I saw was my potbelly, sticking out the bottom of my Ninja Turtles shirt.

I still think about it sometimes. It’s usually in the shower, when I accidentally look down and see that I don’t have the super model body I’d always dreamed of. Obviously, it’s insane to think about now. The only way I could achieve looking straight down and seeing my ankles is if I showered wearing a corset.

I hope you laughed at that last line, but also it shows my way of handling my insecurities. I make jokes to protect myself (in every aspect of my life.) It’s something that I’m working on.

My friend Anne Donahue (hilarious/beautiful/talented bff) and I send each other e-mails every day saying five things we are thankful for. I recently added another segment to the daily e-mails, where we say one thing we like about ourselves. Last Thursday I could not. Think. Of. Anything. It was like pulling teeth. DO YOU KNOW HOW STUPID THAT IS? And kind of embarrassing?

I think it’s really important to first find out where your insecurities stem from. It might come from past relationships or your childhood or even one specific incident you just can’t shake. Mine stem from a few weird relationships I’ve had with boyfriends and family members. I know this and I think simply knowing that and being self-aware is what will help me eradicate these insecurities easier and faster. If you don’t know where yours come from, I’d suggest talking to someone about it. It’s always easier to find out where they are coming from with an outsider perspective. (P.S. If you’ve never been to therapy, YA GOTTA TRY IT! It’s the tits!)

On an episode of The Simple Life with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie (groundbreaking and important television, guys) someone asked Paris and Nicole to say something they liked about their selves. Paris went on for what seemed like five minutes, describing what she liked about herself. At first I thought, “okay… this is a bit much…” but you know what? ALL THE POWER TO YOU, PARIS HILTON! If you can’t love yourself, you’ll never truly be happy.

We should all stand in the mirror once a day and give ourselves a compliment. It’s not egotistical, it’s important. I don’t expect to wake up tomorrow and feel as fierce as Ms. Jay from America’s Next Top Model, but maybe my posture will get better. Or there will be a bit of a bounce in my step. Or I’ll at least be able to say “thank you” when given a compliment.

This clip from Inside Amy Schumer describes just about every woman I know. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzlvDV3mpZw

The other day I wore a long, flowing summer dress and felt like a goddamn princess. I felt like I was in every perfume ad ever, and it was fucking awesome. I wish I could bottle it up (sorry, PUNS, GUYS!) and feel like that every day. So I guess that’s what I am going to try and do. Treat every day like I’m a goddamn elegant lady.

So here! To prove to myself that I am ready to better myself, here are three things I like about myself:

1. I have red mermaid hair, which I have wanted ever since I watched The Little Mermaid for the first time.

2. I can make people laugh. It’s like a super power of mine or whatever.

3.  I have eyebrows that are separate entities that I don’t really have to pluck ever.

We did it, everyone! Three things! Take that, thunder thighs!

(Baby steps, guys.)

Love yourself,

 Amanda.